After moving to Portland, I really let myself go. From moving multiple times to the job search, I’ve been stressed and not had a ton of time for myself. I quit my yoga and running routine and started a new routine of watching TV (aka my computer) in my spare time. I forfeited preparing nourishing meals at home for restaurants. I also started a serving job which means free fried food, free beer, and plenty of cash on hand to go out for drinks.
In the past month, it dawned on me that I cannot keep this up. I need to do something to refresh my life and return to a more manageable lifestyle. Kelly, from the office, first planted the master cleanse seed in my head. It was cultivated when I started at the Red Cross, and a girl who works here was doing it. You’ve probably heard of cleanses before, but may be asking, “What on Earth is this ‘Master Cleanse’?”
The Master Cleanse
It’s a pretty simple cleanse and the goal is to eliminate toxins and chemicals from your body. For 10 days, you consume basically nothing, other than a mixture of maple-syrup, cayenne pepper, fresh squeezed organic lemon juice and water. You drink 6-12 glasses throughout the day when you are hungry or lacking energy. The mornings start out with a saltwater flush, which, I’m not going to lie, gave me the worst diarrhea of my life. After the first day, you get used to constant diarrhea. It’s part of the cleansing process. You end the night with a laxative tea. Traditional Medicinals makes Smooth Move and Yogi makes Get Regular. They both use senna leaf as the main ingredient.
The elixir’s ingredients may seem like an odd combination, but they’re tried and true.
1. Maple Syrup. This is where your body gets energy for 10 days. It’s also full of minerals and sweetens the lemon juice.
2. Lemon juice. It’s packed with immune boosting vitamins and minerals. It also dilutes the mucus in your body.
3. Cayenne pepper*. I discovered this magical herb because of the master cleanse. For the purposes of the cleanse, it dilutes the mucus in your body (much more powerfully than the lemon juice) and improves circulation. That’s important, because circulation wanes during the cleanse and you tend to get cold. It also kills cancer cells (pancreatic, lung, and prostate) and acts as a powerful anti-bacterial and anti-viral. This is definitely the key ingredient.
I attempted the cleanse a few weeks ago and failed after three days. I wasn’t discouraged. Well, I was initially, but after talking to former cleansers, I was not discouraged. I was told that most people who start it for the first time don’t finish it. Try it a month later, they said.
So now, it is a month later and I’m already on day 5. I feel great. Not quite as chipper as usual, but I’ve been working all day and only had 4 drinks today.
I’m a little worried, because I have an interview on Thursday, day 9 of my cleanse. I reckon as long as I’m prepared for the interview, I’ll continue the cleanse as planned. I’m going to play things by ear though. I’ve never made it to day 9 and don’t know how my body will feel.






